By Psychologist Mamta Bhatia www.thinkspalondon.com

People generally don’t mind helping others, what they do mind is being taken for granted.  Every day, people are taken advantage of when their acquaintances need help networking. It’s become such an issue that as a community Asians are becoming insular and at times unwilling to help.  Below are some effective tips that will help you grow your network without the help of anyone but yourself.

Firstly, know your purpose for networking. It sounds obvious, but individuals waste their contacts’ time when they don’t really know what they want to do or how the contact might be helpful to them. Think about who you want to target through networking and how you can identify connections that will lead you to your goal.

Then, do your homework. Don’t ask your contacts questions that could easily be answered by doing a little basic research. The more you know about your contacts background and role the more impressed they will be.

Be aware of your body language, don’t act desperate. Your contacts will be much more willing to help someone who is confident and capable than someone grovelling and desperate. Don’t forget that as high a priority as it is to you, your goal is not so to most of your network.

Importantly, listen. When someone is kind enough to share, listen attentively.  You could even write your contact a thank-you note and include something that tells your contact you listened.

Always, respect your contact’s time. When you call a current or prospective member of your network, always ask if he has time to talk. When the situation allows, build rapport before launching into networking conversation.

Manage the ‘asks’ and don’t burden your contact with overwhelming requests for help and advice. Ask more questions than favours. You can always ask for more at a later time.

Remember to get permission before using a network contact’s name to approach another prospective contact and always tell prospective contacts how you got their names.

Be careful with your use of the word networking. Some people have grown weary of being networked. Unless you are attending a function specifically earmarked for networking, it’s best not to advertise the fact that that is what you are doing. Instead, think of yourself as making connections, building relationships and seeking advice.

Don’t be pushy and aggressive. Be sensitive to just how much a contact is willing to do for you and don’t push beyond that limit. Be persistent but not annoying.

Lastly know that networking is a two-way street. The idea of reciprocity is perhaps the most important aspect of networking. Offer your help to your contacts and supply needed information whenever possible.